Today Im prompted to write after a particularly exciting and valuable talk I heard this morning.

The bulk of today’s talk was on the benefits of the different stages of our lives whether married, dating or single. The main message I heard was that it’s actually rather cool to be single and that there can be more time, energy and inclination to focus on God and Kingdom work, our prayer and spiritual life, our friends, work and interests. (Unless you are a Christian reading this, you will not understand that this is not something  heard very often in the Christian church!) Jonny talked of the great things that single people can do to serve and glorify God as well as the blessings that married couples can bring to the church and others.

Personally, I (and I know I’m not alone in this) can feel on the margins within ”the Church” being a single woman. I do not necessarily mean my church but ‘THE Church, the Body Of Christ’ as a whole. It can sometimes seem as though the majority are married and that they are in a kind of exclusive Business class Christianity while the rest of us remain in Economy looking in.

I know I often find myself saying, “Some of us are called to be single!”  about my own situation to justify  the fact that I am rapidly becoming quite set in my ways to the point that there would hardly be any room for another human being! It took me years (and lots of making mistakes) to learn to enjoy my own company and the peace that can come with that. The other side of that is that I remain extremely cynical and God has much work to do there!

I am truly blessed that I had my one and only child when I was 23 and no longer have that body clock ticking thing going on.

But I am aware that some people find being single extremely painful, are searching for ‘the one’ or are fragile and broken from past hurts. Sometimes asking folk to trust God in this area is tricky and almost downright impossible for them to do.

And Valentines Day celebrations and commercialisation appear to stretch over a cheesy 4 day period and chocolates, hearts and love imagery is everywhere highlighting singledom.

Of course love and intimacy can be experienced with friends, families and God and does not necessarily have to be a romantic thing. Today I am fortunate to have been able to spend the day with my daughter which included, going to church, having lunch and then going to the cinema. Relationship with her is where I learn about unconditional love, letting go, forgiveness, acceptance and sacrifice.

Jesus was single, Paul was single, John the Baptist was single, many of the disciples and early church were presumably single.

At the end of the day, God uses our current circumstances whatever they may be to glorify him.

And remember, the grass is always greener on the other side.

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