All the talk of the Mayan prediction of the end of the world made me think of the expression ‘Good Riddance’ and where it originated. Apparently Good riddance was a 16th century expression that usually meant ‘deliverance from’ or ‘getting rid of’..the most heard version ‘Good riddance to bad rubbish’ is seen as an expression of pleasure of getting rid of something..usually an individual.
That was my first thought about 2012..”yeah, Good riddance to bad rubbish”.
What a year 2012 was, the Piece de resistance of all time lows has to be when my then ‘fiancé’ disappeared into a drunken stupor, 6 and a half months ago to be exact and was never seen again, well.. by me anyway. A number of consequences on my poor psyche and soul manifested during this time. When I look back I never cease to be amazed that I got through this time with relatively healthy coping strategies. These mainly consisted of boring my poor mates stupid and wailing very loudly from the gut region while crying out to God ‘Lord have mercy – and while we’re at it, where the f*%k are you?”.
He was there, near, in the shit and the pain, close to the crushed in spirit as usual. Meanwhile, I left my job, withdrew from community and laid low like a road kill that has not quite been finished off.
I found out who my friends were.
I left my entire field of work, took time to develop some sort of ‘balance’ for the first time ever. I learnt to say no to some things and yes to others
Many wonderful things also happened in 2012.
I visited and fell in love with Barcelona with my gorgeous daughter. Tried my hand at sailing, began learning Spanish and a lovely friend took me to Greece. I got a new job using skills I didn’t think I had. More friends chipped in and paid therapy bills for me ;-).
My gorgeous little nephew was born, Beau Huxley Hampton.
When life’s road is heading in one direction and unexpectedly the road forks drastically, it can make for a complete re-evaluation. I don’t believe God ordains everything that happens in our lives, rather that we place ourselves in positions to be hurt after making poor decisions based on self. I do believe He uses circumstances to heal up old wounds which may have just had a plaster on them but still be festering away. Outdated pride which has been a trusted and long term friend can be stripped away. As they say in AA “you can’t save your face and your arse at the same time”. Dropping the ‘Must be strong’ mask and learning how to lean on others becomes an unavoidable reality.
What seems an unimaginable crisis at the time can lead to a rebuilding that many years of talk therapies, self- knowledge or self-help groups and books couldn’t possibly achieve. In the Bible it is referred to the Refiners Fire
“But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold” Job 23:10
“And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people’; and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God” Zech 13:9
Bring on 2013 and Happy New Year!